I'm Gay. Like Kinsey 5-6 Gay.

Depending on our level of friendship, this may be a semi surprise, or maybe this isn't new news, or maybe you just assumed?

I started figuring out that I liked girls almost 10 years ago. I grew up in a small town outside Boston. It was 50% Catholic and 50% Mormon and felt 100% homophobic. I was terrified. At first I was scared by the idea "is it ok to like girls?" In last the few months/years the scary thought turned in to, "is it also ok, to not like guys?".

I came out as bi 5 years ago. Being bi is not a phase and was not a phase. I have fallen for both guys and girls. As I get older, I understand more, or have battled the internal homophobia lel, that sexuality is truly fluid.

There really shouldn't be any need to come out. When I was first figuring this out and questioning in high school, I was really mad at the fact that I "needed" to announce who I was or that I had to put myself into a box. Jokes, because I was once told "if you don't know now, you'll never know." I didn't want to label myself as bi or queer, mostly because I felt like I didn't know. I still have my notes app rant from 2015 and then 2018 where I was mad that there was this "need" to label myself. The internalized homophobia and fear was so strong. If you caught my femininity post, I have struggled for a long time to kind figure out how to identify and how to present myself because I did feel constrained by the labels.

When I got to college I began telling friends I was bi. It was weird to say out loud, but it felt easier to just "come out" from the start and then there would be no "surprise" or notion of the "the old me". Not that my sexuality changes who I am at my core. I had my first girlfriend when I was in my 3rd year of college and just straight hard launched that shit on social media haha. But I never I guess truly announced that I was bi? I also started to transition to just saying "gay" as an umbrella term because I still wasn't 100% sure where I fell on the spectrum.

As I was getting older, I started making jokes like I would say I was like 99% into girls, but then there was that 1% open option for guys? But I still disliked calling myself "lesbian". Nearly 10 years later down this journey, I feel pretty confident saying that I am gay. I'm a lesbian. However you want to say it. Like 5 or 6 on the Kinsey Scale gay.

People absolutely should not need to or feel pressure to come out. You literally do not owe it to anyone. Labels can help you understand yourself if you so choose to use them. I understand that labeling your sexuality can bring a sense of understanding, and it can make you feel good to be able to communicate who you are in ways that help others understand you.

Anyways. I shot these photos a few weeks ago as a "intermission to moving" into my new space. I've shared with a few close friends and had a lot of talks about it all. And the since then, I held on to the photos a little longer. It sounds narcissistic, but the more I look at the photos, the more it kinda just feels right? I feel like it feels like that fits. The entire reasoning behind my self portrait shoots was to build my self confidence and to be able to explore and express myself in different ways. So.. here we are. Second I guess "now official coming out" as gay.